17 Dec Expressing Appreciation

We sit in a circle, 25 of us, with the chairs pressed closely together. Despite the size of the group, a tender silence fills the room.
“Now we’ll explore the third pillar of communication,” I say. “Together, these three pillars can prevent most misunderstandings, tensions, and conflicts. I’ll start.”
I turn to one of the participants, seated diagonally across from me. “What I appreciate about you is how you think and act with your heart,” I say. “Earlier, you shared a dilemma and the choice you made. I could feel how deeply your heart guided you.” Her eyes reflect a mix of surprise and gratitude.
I explain to the group that expressing positivity and giving compliments is the third pillar of Clear Communication. “If you appreciate something about someone, say it,” I encourage them. “Say, ‘You’ve done this so carefully,’ or, ‘This looks wonderful,’ or, ‘It’s amazing how much effort you’ve put into this.’”

Moving
“Who would like to express appreciation next?” I ask. And then, something extraordinary happens. One by one, participants spontaneously turn to someone else in the group, sharing their gratitude or admiration. Each expression feels deeply personal and heartfelt. It’s moving—and it seems like it might never end.
Eventually, the room falls silent, as if the group itself needs a moment to breathe. I can’t help but compliment them too: “You are such a beautiful team. It’s inspiring to see how openly you’ve shared your appreciation for one another.”

Visibility
In my view, most misunderstandings and tensions stem from neglecting communication early on. The first two pillars of Clear Communication focus on making yourself visible and recognizing the visibility of those around you. Together with appreciation, they create a foundation for connection and understanding.

*This post has been automatically translated from Dutch